Losing Some Food
Did you see how excited that American chick got over seeing an Iraqi man in the nude? You would think she never saw a naked man before. But I have to remind myself that this woman grew up in America and not in the middle east. In the middle east “no sex before marriage” is big. Unmarried women learn to live with, ehm! certain frustrations. But I mean this woman grew up in a country where a woman can change partners every two weeks, pornography is available on every street corner and willing men are a dime a dozen. Makes you suspect that men in America must be deficient in certain areas. But we shouldn’t generalize like that. Just because this women has been disappointed in the particular men she had dated in the U.S. we shouldn’t assume that all men in the U.S. come short. After all, I am sure if you counted all the men this women has dated back home I am sure you wouldn’t come up with more than 1% of the male population of the US. So we shouldn’t generalize about all American men. I still don’t fully understand the source of her excitement, perhaps she caught a case of
jungle fever.
I wish to give this woman (Lynndie England) some advice on attracting men in Iraq. That hood, chains and stuff does not turn Iraqi guys on. We are talking about a country where for 35 years the government has spent millions on sponsoring regular S&M parties. Any citizen that felt in the mood would be visited by especially trained, Saddam approved, hairy and mustached dominatrix queen. The person would proceed to receive specialized and individual handling that would sometimes last years. People told me the service was to die for. Honey! you can’t compete with that. You might think you are a kinky American but in Iraq you come across as a tame pet. So, my advice to you is to compete on the basis of your strengths and not attempt to compete in areas of your weakness. Next time you would like to get the attention of an Iraqi man, I suggest you use a different approach. I recommend you cook him a nice meal, put on some makeup, wear a nice dress and leave the hood and chains back home. I guarantee you will have a higher rate of success. I know that some of you might be worried about the poor Iraqi people now that Saddam is gone you might think the population must be missing the state sponsored S&M parties, but please don’t panic. Now that the coalition forces are placing former Ba’ath generals in positions of power I am sure that the fun and games will be back in full swing in no time. Did you see how happy people in Falluja were upon return of the Iraqi general? Now you know why. Its party time.
All this talk of love is making me teary eyed and kinda emotional. I think I need to balance all this mushy happy ending, Hollywood style stuff with something more grounded and real life. It must be the negative grumpy Slavic side of me. Everybody keeps saying that they are disgusted by the pictures of American army people torturing Iraqi prisoners, even the American President said that he is disgusted with the pictures. I don’t know, I think he sounded a little insincere when he said the words, he didn’t look very disgusted to me. Especially because he was standing next to our prime minister Paul Martin while saying it. It would have looked much more authentic if he had vomited in front of the cameras, that would have added a nice authentic touch. Imagine the headlines, “President vomited live on TV to register his disgust”. I think that would have more bang. We don’t want apologies, show us some vomit please. Like the time, Bush the father vomited on the Japanese prime minister during his visit to Japan in 1992, now that was high impact visual clue that he was disgusted with something. Just saying I am disgusted doesn’t cut it. Bush the son! you missed your opportunity to vomit on the Canadian prime minister, you even had a good excuse for doing so. What is wrong with you?
If this is how the male prisoners are treated, can you imagine the love that the Iraqi female prisoners receive? I am trying very hard not to think about that so that I won’t get sentimental again and start crying. I don't look pretty when that happens. To all Americans, upset over the pictures. Don’t Panic! Let the good times roll. There will be plenty of vomiting opportunities in the future. Sooner or later all those war veterans will be coming home and I am certain that they will be happy to share the love they learned and practiced in Iraq with the rest of the American people, as war veterans frequently do upon safe return home.
There is a way between voice and presence where information flows.
