Optimistic Whispers
There were quiet whispers and phone calls late into the night. Hysterical laughter and shifty looks. You could feel the excitement in the air, there was electrical tension, a buzz. A sense of anticipation. What will happen next? Surely the worst is over. It can’t possibly get any worse. Almost anybody would better than the other guy. Nobody, nobody could be worse that the last guy. Almost any change is a good change when you hit rock bottom. This last few years were definitely the lowest of the low. Yes he is a Ba’athist, but he is bound to be an improvement over the other guy.
That is what they said, that is what many many theys said.
The year was 1979, I was only a kid. Nine, maybe ten. I didn’t understand much of the hustle and bustle in our house hold. I only knew that something big had happened. And that somebody called Saddam has just become our president. They said that he could not be any worse that the previous guy.
All the theys were wrong. Very very wrong. Turns out the previous guy, Ahmed Hassan al Bakar the Iraqi president before Saddam, was only teasing us. Saddam was the serious stuff. No more goofing around.
Ten years later, I was no longer a kid but a young woman. There were many phone calls with congratulation. Sighs of relief. People hugged each other on the streets when the news was announced. Thank god, thank god. The war was over. Eight years of hell that killed one million Iraqis and Iranians. It was all useless. What a waste. But at least it was over. Both countries will start rebuilding and things will get better. It can’t possibly get any worse, can it? ….. Naaah it can’t. Perhaps Saddam would have eaten a bit of humble pie after his failed attempt to subdue the Persian enemy. Surely he won’t be very quick to embark on yet another crazy war after this last experience.
We were wrong. Very very wrong. Turns out that the Iraqi/Irani war was only a small taste of things to come. The end of that war would set a chain of events that nobody could have foreseen, or maybe we were just blind. Maybe we wanted to believe. Maybe the writing was on the wall and we just didn’t want to see it. Maybe we were a bunch of fools. Sweet Jesus, have mercy on us.
And then, there was the American war on Iraq. At least this time there was no consensus. There were those that opposed it and others that said: “it hurts, but it is for the best”. Almost anything would be better that Saddam. Almost anything would be an improvement. It can’t possibly get any worse. It doesn’t matter what the Americans do to us, it can’t be any worse than what has been done already. They can bomb us and torture us, it would still be an improvement on the current situation. Anything to remove this maniac from power. One person said to me in all seriousness “ I wish that Israel would come and invade Iraq and do to us what they are doing to the Palestinians, even that, yes even that, would be an improvement of what we have lived through.”. I kid you not. Can’t get any worse. Can’t possibly get any worse anymore. This must be the rock bottom. God, have mercy on us.
So the ex Ba’athist, CIA agent prime minister is brought to replace the ex CIA agent Ba’athist president. But, I would like to be optimistic and still believe that maybe things will work out for the best. Can’t get any worse…..or can it?
O! Lord. Give me the power of self delusion for the reality is hard to take.
I think I finally understand why I like this song
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands I sit and cry
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending
who we are... You and me
I can see us dying...are we
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak,don't speak, don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good, I know you're good,
I know you're real good Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurtse?
That is what they said, that is what many many theys said.
The year was 1979, I was only a kid. Nine, maybe ten. I didn’t understand much of the hustle and bustle in our house hold. I only knew that something big had happened. And that somebody called Saddam has just become our president. They said that he could not be any worse that the previous guy.
All the theys were wrong. Very very wrong. Turns out the previous guy, Ahmed Hassan al Bakar the Iraqi president before Saddam, was only teasing us. Saddam was the serious stuff. No more goofing around.
Ten years later, I was no longer a kid but a young woman. There were many phone calls with congratulation. Sighs of relief. People hugged each other on the streets when the news was announced. Thank god, thank god. The war was over. Eight years of hell that killed one million Iraqis and Iranians. It was all useless. What a waste. But at least it was over. Both countries will start rebuilding and things will get better. It can’t possibly get any worse, can it? ….. Naaah it can’t. Perhaps Saddam would have eaten a bit of humble pie after his failed attempt to subdue the Persian enemy. Surely he won’t be very quick to embark on yet another crazy war after this last experience.
We were wrong. Very very wrong. Turns out that the Iraqi/Irani war was only a small taste of things to come. The end of that war would set a chain of events that nobody could have foreseen, or maybe we were just blind. Maybe we wanted to believe. Maybe the writing was on the wall and we just didn’t want to see it. Maybe we were a bunch of fools. Sweet Jesus, have mercy on us.
And then, there was the American war on Iraq. At least this time there was no consensus. There were those that opposed it and others that said: “it hurts, but it is for the best”. Almost anything would be better that Saddam. Almost anything would be an improvement. It can’t possibly get any worse. It doesn’t matter what the Americans do to us, it can’t be any worse than what has been done already. They can bomb us and torture us, it would still be an improvement on the current situation. Anything to remove this maniac from power. One person said to me in all seriousness “ I wish that Israel would come and invade Iraq and do to us what they are doing to the Palestinians, even that, yes even that, would be an improvement of what we have lived through.”. I kid you not. Can’t get any worse. Can’t possibly get any worse anymore. This must be the rock bottom. God, have mercy on us.
So the ex Ba’athist, CIA agent prime minister is brought to replace the ex CIA agent Ba’athist president. But, I would like to be optimistic and still believe that maybe things will work out for the best. Can’t get any worse…..or can it?
O! Lord. Give me the power of self delusion for the reality is hard to take.
I think I finally understand why I like this song
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands I sit and cry
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending
who we are... You and me
I can see us dying...are we
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak,don't speak, don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good, I know you're good,
I know you're real good Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurtse?
There is a way between voice and presence where information flows.
In disciplined silence it opens.
With wandering talk it closes. .... Rumi
12:51 PMYes it could and will get worse, just cover your ears and you will not hear what I am saying!!!
1:25 PM
when Iraq invaded Kuwait the joke was "visit Iraq before Iraq visits you". Now IRAQ is invading my blog. Aaaahhhhhhhhhh! somebody help me....... actually. I changed my mind. Please try not to help me, especially if your name is George.
4:27 PM
Hey ihath
Welcome Back:)
http://kitabat.com/asefa_h90.htm
5:55 AM
glad you are back and rested
8:31 AM
oh i am shocked. an arab living in canada that has a deep, twisted, sick hatred for america. now this is a shock. its kind of hypocritical to bash the US, then for some weird reason ramble on about no doubt, an american band. and when was saddam a CIA agent? learn your history, fool. apparently if saddam was once an ally of the US, then he is a spy! i guess tony blair is also a spy as well. interesting, becuase i thought he was the prime minister. go smoke some weed and get AIDS you vancouver arab trash whore. fuck you and the camel you ride to work everyday.
9:01 AM
richsanter,
Even a vancouver arab trash whore that rides a camel to work and is about to smoke weed and get aids, has feelings. There is a more politicaly correct way of telling me all the above. You could convey the same sentiments by saying words like liberation, I respect arab culture, Spreading democracy in the world, god bless america.
9:13 AM
Here is an excellent source for knowledge on modern Iraqi history.
The Old Social Classes and the Revolutionary Movements of Iraq (Princeton Studies on the Near East)
by Hanna Batatu
The book is three volumes in one, it is one of the few books to have received the distinction of having an entire conference held to discuss its implications-at the University of Texas at Austin in March 1989.
I believe you can buy it on amazon. But here is another link (http://www.palgrave-usa.com/Catalog/product.aspx?isbn=0863565204)
That is what I use as my source for information on modern Iraqi history.
9:29 AM
ihath, you're right. what i said wasnt very classy. yet what i said was not much different from what i have heard from canadians for the past few years. i usually enjoy your stories, but this post upset me a lot. i find it odd that you can make statements against allawi even though you don't even live in iraq. seems like nowdays everyone speaks for iraq except for iraqis. i see more anti-american protests in europe and canada than iraq. actually, allawi is very popular among iraqis, and what is wrong with him working with america in the past to get saddam out of power? a ba'athist thug did attack him with a damn axe! i dont know how long it has been since you've been to iraq, but i suggest you get in touch with your people and see how they really feel, instead of conveying how canadians feel. it's a terrorism problem that the US and iraq has to deal with, the least canadians could do is shut up and supply us with victory beer.
9:41 AM
richsanter,
Perhaps you can share with us about your recent travels in Iraq and how you got in touch with the Iraqi people. I might learn something new.
9:52 AM
nice comment ihath, very snide and candian. i know a few people that have been in operation iraqi freedom, and i also go to a large university in the US with many iraqis and other arabs. polls show that allawi is popular among iraqis...he has over a 70% approval rating, even though he's a CIA agent of the great satan. why is everything always the fault of bush or allawi, not saddam, zarqawi or al sadr. those guys are the heroes...the "resistance". they make arabs look like animals by cutting peoples heads off and kidnapping innocent people, yet they get all the glory while america gets nothing but hate. maybe you should look at your own canadian gov't with a suspicious eye. even though they might not agree with the war, its now a humanitarian crisis and they could at least give some money to help rebuild the place. but they continue to show was a great nation they are by sending no troops or money and bashing america and the iraqi gov't. god bless those crazy canadians. maybe one day they will understand what is really happening in the world.
10:04 AM
How very american of you richsanter. Your fellow country men would be proud of you. "I have no idea what I am talking about but I am going to tell everybody else to shut up and listen". Rumi said in one of his poems "I need more Grace than I thought.". It is a mournful statement. It hurts to acknowledge that people need to use grace when they deal with me. Doesn't it?
11:15 AM
no ihath, i dont need to use grace when dealing with you. you're just an arab living in canada...so who cares what you think? you have a small mind and a limited view of the world. you're always right, and everyone else is always wrong. arabs are the greatest people in the world, and everyone else is just trying to bring them down. so many enemies you have in life, the israelis, the americans, all westerners, non-muslim arabs, the kuwaitis, the iranians, this and that. instead of looking in the mirror to fix their own problems, arabs have lived in hate for centuries. instead of trying to fix the problem you're one of those self proclaimed intellectuals that believes she has all the answers. if only the rest of the world were as smart and witty as you! if you would do some self-exploration you would see that you're just a chubby little pretentious arab. instead of complaining about iraq, why dont you make yourself useful and start a drive for the people and send them clothes and school supplies? perhaps complaining to the world through a blog is more than enough for the iraqis, but somehow i think clothes and food might help them more. i realize that you are from a backwards society with little formal education and probably haven't been taught any manners or morals, but maybe you can spend a few moments to help out your own people.
11:27 AM
Yes richsanter, you are right. I am everything you said and more. Arab, chubby, little formal education, all true. I shall go off now and attempt to improve myself. For the record, I have donated 10's of thousands of dollars out of my private pocket towards humanitarian aid projects in Iraq over the last 12 years. But I must acknowledge that this was nothing but a drop in the ocean and plenty more needs to be done. Will let you know about the progress of my prescribed self exploration. Thank you for the advice.
6:16 AM
*sympathetic groan*
wish i could think of something more tactful to say.
12:14 AM
Hey, look at it this way, at least now it has the possibility of getting better. Even if it is currently bad, the opportunity is there for democracy to work itself out.
10:08 PM
I was floored by the inanity ... the self-centeredness ... the jingoism ... the vituperation ... the xenophobia ... the sweeping generalizations about other cultures ... then I saw he's still in college. It'll be another decade or two before he gets his real education. "don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is merely trying on one face after another to find a face of his own." -- Logan Pearsall Smith (easier said than done)
10:11 AM
Yes Mary,
I can still remember what I was like when I was in college. I sure hope there is no documented evidence of some of the things I have said back then because it would be so embaressing today.
11:45 PM
richsanter ...
wow ... you better quit before you give Canadians even more reasons to roll their eyes at the way *some* Americans carry on. Yes, you are correct in that America as a country and its institutions are sometimes not given enough credit where credit is due, and are blamed for taking actions or not taking actions. The same is probably true about Canada, but I think Canadians don't have as strong a sense of nationalism as Americans, so we take the criticism dished out to us lightly and maybe even agree with some of it.
as for giving money for the humanitarian crisis ...
I think the people who create a mess ought to clean it up. Actually, I am getting rather discouraged by the number and size of humanitarian crises all over the world, caused by all kinds of unnecessary conflicts. I'm sure the amount of money needed to fix them all far exceeds the donation power of all the caring people in the world. However, the combined military budgets of all the countries in the world would probably be enough if this money were to be diverted to humanitarian aid. I prefer to give my donations to agencies in my community, since this is where I live and where I have some responsibility to try and fix the problems.
As for ihath's blog ...
It's amazing how two people can read her blog and perceive it quite differently. To me, it is simply one person with a colourful history who cares deeply about certain matters, who tells us her personal stories. She gives us the gift of her stories and we take what we like from them. It's only one person's experience. There's no need to get in a knot over any of it. I also read the blogs of people who I strongly disagree with, but I still can learn something from their stories, without getting upset and abusive with the person. I often learn valuable things from their stories.
a canadian
2:21 AM
Amazing... absolutley Amazing! An American beaking off to Ihath about what a great dude Allawi is. Cites the numerous arab/iraqi people he knows that give Allawi a high popularity rating. Of course - this is not at all strange to consider when according to Saddam, 100% of the population voted for him in the last election. And of course this jibes so well with neocons "assesment" that Chalabi would be hailed as a conquering hero - when the actual fact is they consider him to be nothing but a stooge for occupying forces. Wait... I guess RicSanter hasn't read the latest talking points from Rummy's desk that have indicate he was a liar, manipulator and spy. Guess poor RicSanter will have to just pay more attention to Fox News and let Bill Kristol tell him what he should be thinking next about the cluster-Fxxx that the Iraq invasion/occupation has become. Don't listen to him Ihath!
2:13 PM
wélé wélé wélé...
richsanter...lah ister
- White Canadian Girl
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